In my previous post, my friend Bob described the conversation café scene in Tokyo. The conversation continues.
Do guests always just sit down at the conversation cafes and chat?
No, the cafes also hold “international parties” on the weekend once or twice a month. At a Norton Place party, a pianist provided a mini-concert at the cozy café that looks like someone’s family room.
(Except that family rooms don’t tend to host belly dance parties. But this cafe did. And it displays the photos to prove it, Bob says.)
Leaf Cup’s international party was a standing happy hour type event. Because people are eager to practice English, finding someone to talk to at the parties is easy. They want to hear about where you're from and what your experiences have been in Japan.
Visiting a new place? Ride a bus to the end of the line and soak up the sights while coming and going. Get off the bus if you see something or some place that strikes you. Maybe get back on and go to the end of the line after that. Or maybe not.
For two weeks before Sawau tribesmen from the island of Beqa in Fiji perform a firewalking ceremony, they have no contact with women and don't eat coconut. If they mess with "the rules" their feet are liable to get badly burned during the ceremony.
While in Fiji, I watched fire walking, not on Beqa, but the tourist version at the Outrigger on the Lagoon, Fiji on the island of Viti Levu. Now you can watch it too. (Funny thing, when the video begins, someone nexts to me coughs and it seems as though it's from the smoke you see.)
The population of Fiji is half Indo-Fijian, the descendants of Asian Indians brought to Fiji in the 19th century to work in the sugar cane fields. One guide told us that Indians have a fire walking tradition too, but theirs is religious, whereas the Fijian version is purely ceremonial.
Either way, don't try this at home. And certainly not if you've eaten coconut in the past two weeks.
If you're a solo traveler at the Outrigger, or just wind up there to watch, you'll feel comfortable as part of a crowd, as you sit on steps that overlook the lawn where the ceremony is performed.
There's a nice vibe and be sure to stick around to watch the performers pose for pictures with kids. It's a hoot as they pick some of them up and hold them upside down or sideways and make scary faces or gestures.
The cherry blossoms are coming! Very soon now. I happen to be highly aware of the impending pinkness (pinker as buds, then very pale pink as blossoms) because I was immersed last month in writing a cherry blossom guide for a hotel magazine.
While a lot of the cherry blossom events are for kids and families, several would be perfect for solo travelers looking for company while in D.C. I'm thinking about doing one or two of these myself, even though I've been to the Tidal Basin's beautiful cherry trees many, many times. And even though I might visit at other times with friends.
Washington Walks offers a "Blossoms Secrets Stroll" that teaches you all the cherry tree lore you could possibly want. I just learned that the 17th-century Japanese stone lantern near the Tidal Basin, where a veritable forest of cherry trees resides, is the oldest manmade object in the country that's not housed in a museum.
It almost seems as if solo travel is becoming the vogue.
The Los Angeles Times has a story on 10 vacations for solo travelers. It covers just about every option you can think of, from road trips to special-interest vacations to choosing villages over big cities.
Another highly useful LA Times story suggests ways to avoid the single supplement, from setting up a Google alert using the words "single supplement waived" to booking with companies such as Adventure Life to letting a tour company pair you with a roommate, which many will do.
A story in the Guardian offers strategies for traveling alone by a veteran solo traveler. And the rationale. "You travel alone, you do exactly as you want," says author Jenny Diski. Being on vacation with others makes her anxious. "Are they comfortable, happy, restless, bored?"
I totally get this. You feel selfish if you don't consider others' needs and yet you've paid all this money for a short time in a vacation place. Compromises make you feel resentful.
My absolute LEAST favorite words while on vacation are, "Do you mind if..." If I've had to say those words it means I've had to ask permission to do something I want to do.
Not permission, exactly, but I've had to let someone else know I want to do it and hope they come along happily or want to do the same. If not, I find myself thinking that I'm boring them or keeping them waiting. And how many times am I willing to do that? Argh.
Solo Friendly offers five reasons for solo travelers to take an organized tour. They include the ability to socialize, letting someone else do the driving and navigating and hearing the interesting stories of locals who are hired as tour guides on these trips.
National Geographic says it chooses these tours for the "outfitters' commitment to authenticity, immersion, sustainability, and connection."
One example is a tour in northern India that "has you riding camels, rickshaws, rafts, and jeeps
to observe leopards, rhinos, monkeys, mongoose, and more at five
national parks and wildlife refuges." Er, except that it costs more than $7,000 for the 19-day trip.
My rich friends, please tell me how fabulous it was when you return!
I landed upon the blog of a woman who normally travels with her kids and her "other half," who she says takes good care of her by packing and doing laundry for her. (Is he for rent?)
Recently, she had the opportunity to travel in Japan on her own for two days. "Big deal, right?" she writes. "But to me, it was a
big scary deal."
She hadn't traveled alone before, not even on a business trip. She feared having no one to talk to and no one to remind her of the essentials, like taking her meds.
Her blog post on solo travel is long so I'm going to pull out the pertinent bits, including that she
has also had "rip-roaring fights" on some of her travels with this treasure of a packer and
launderer, so remember that nothing is perfect and score one for solo travel versus angry partners.
So, she finally gets to her destination and realizes she not only has the whole room to herself, but can soak in the tub for as long as she likes without kids banging on the door. She can surf the net without anyone nagging. She can have a meal without having to cut up meat for a child or referee a fight.
Gayle has traveled the world and tells this story about her stay in Tashkent, Uzbekistan:
Looming over me was a blur of aquamarine eye shadow, crimson blusher and frosted orange lipstick, topped by a head of henna-red hair that would make a mad scientist jealous. Zoya ran a state-owned cosmetics factory, and no doubt, was also one of its best customers. I was her house guest for a week-long homestay during my visit to Tashkent, Uzbekistan. But at that moment, I felt more like her hostage.
She had plunked a plate down in front of me with some slices of lean, medium-rare meat. She didn't know a word of English - and she didn't need to. I could read her thoughts like a native speaker. "You vill find dis to be de most tantalizing and delightful meal you haff ever eaten, and I vill stare at you until I know eet ees trrrrrue!"
I picked up my knife and fork, then sawed off a bite. What is this stuff? I wondered. Not a filet, not a tenderloin. It didn't look quite like anything I'd ever eaten before. The slices were neat little ovals, rosy in the center, fading to gray at the edge. Not a bit of fat. Despite my dread, it tasted good.
Heartache?
If you've chosen to travel alone, you didn't get into it to be
miserable. Clearly you have some sense of adventure and a desire to see
parts of the world that intrigue you.
I
personally would not pay big bucks to get on a plane to go somewhere
and be unhappy. Know thyself. My highly useful advice is if you think
you're going to suffer from wretched glumnitude and angst-ridden
despondency (thanks Roget's) here's what I say: DON'T GO. (Okay, I made
up the "glumnitude" part)
Putter in your garden, in your kitchen or online, safe in your happy home, where there's no heartache or misery.
Okay,
now, let's skip past that silliness to get to the useful bits of the
story. I love the advice about trying not being so British, and
channeling one's "inner American" when traveling solo. giggle.
Apparently
what that means is looking up from your feet and making eye contact.
Who knew that every single American was so good at this? Good on us, eh?
Another
suggestion from the story: travel with a purpose. Learn to cook or
dance or to speak another language. That's a better goal than trying just to achieve "plain
happiness." I agree. Showing up in a city and expecting that to be enough doesn't cut it.
The writer also suggests to find an English-language club as a way to socialize. People trying to
learn English in their own countries will be thrilled to have an expert
visit and speak in perfect English. The piece discusses an experience the writer had in China.
Iwas learning Spanish and went to a local resturant in Ixtapa, Mexico. When I got back to my hotel I managed to mix up the words "waiter" and "shrimp" (In Spanish they are very similar - camarero and cameron). So when the parking attendant asked me how my dinner was I replied, "It was fantastic! The waiters were grilled and delicious."
Becky wins a "hide this spanish booK XTREME" language phrasebook just for entering. And I"m totally emphathetic to that camarero/cameron thing. It might be time to switch to "mesero," another word for waiter. Not that I'm sure how interchangeable they are, depending on the country.
Using a random selection process (Three different times I shook bits of paper with names on them, in my hands, then picked one) I have come up with the winners of the language phrase books, chosen from all those who submitted a phrase or story. The other two winners are Lorraine A., who wins the "hide this french book XTREME," and Linda T., who will receive, "hide this italian book XTREME."
Now here's Lorraine's story about studying the Nepali language but not having quite knack for speaking it:
Traveling to the small country of Nepal had been on my mind for over 20 years. My dream was to go trekking in the mighty HimalayanMountains. My dream came true last year when I made the journey to Nepal for 6 weeks. I wanted to immerse myself in the culture and be able to interact with the local people as much as possible.
Over the next several posts I will run some of the entries I received for the contest to win a foreign-language phrase book. I love the following story from B, who did not want his name used:
"My parents lived in Indonesia for a year while my dad was advising a company there.They were sent an Indonesian phrasebook to study before the trip.I distinctly remember (in English) two highly useful phrases in this book that every traveler should know:
1. "You idiot! Just look at this pocket."
2. "Quick, the Commodore's son is coming!"
I can't help wondering how often the Commodore's son showed up and what were the repercussions of that visit, since it was considered important enough to be an item in a phrasebook.And, geez, how often did something terrible happen to these people's pockets?Soo funny. Thanks B.
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