"Staycation." It's a crock. If you're home, you're not on vacation.
Maybe you're using vacation days. Maybe you're relaxing and clearing your head. Maybe you're eating up "use or lose" days. Maybe you're taking off so you can visit local museums, restaurants and galleries because you never have time on the weekends.
Nothing wrong with any of that. But you are not on vacation. True, you are not at work. But what you are experiencing is not a vacation.
In order for you truly to have been on vacation, three or more of the following things must have happened:
1. You said to people afterwards, "I just got back from vacation."
2. You are the proud new owner of:
a. an embroidered peasant blouse you cannot wear at home with any dignity;
b. crocheted doilies, decorated clogs or a painting on bark;
c. boots or a bag made out of the skin of an animal you'd never heard of;
d. a small musical instrument you can't play or;
e. a bottle of "black death" because it seemed so perfect at the time. That perfect time being after a bite of putrified shark meat.
3. You ate breakfast out for a week.
4. When you returned to your bed at night, it had been magically made without you touching it.
5. Before leaving, you had to find your passport. And you wondered briefly how current your vaccinations were. Or, what Japanese encephalitis was.
6. You slept in a tent, on a cot, in a sleeping bag or surrounded by mosquito netting.
7. You debated packing peanut butter and toilet paper.
8. You packed at all.
9. You were handed a menu and were unable to understand half the items on it. Even though it was written in English.
10. You bought postcards. Or a refrigerator magnet. Or a t-shirt. Or all three. Possibly at multiple locations.
11. You kicked yourself for not packing enough camera memory cards.
12. You own new maps.
13. You mistakenly ate a critter, or parts thereof, that you never would have eaten had known what you were ordering. (see # 9)
14. You ended up dining with tons of Americans, even though you were miles from the U.S., because the place you ended up in was recommended by Rick Steves.
Got other examples of how you know for certain you were on vacation?
Here are the ways to know for sure you were NOT on vacation:
1. You ran a weekly errand.
2. You checked for mail...the paper kind.
3. You ran into people you know on the street and you didn't shriek,"Omigod, what are YOU doing here? It's a small world, isn't it?"
Conclusion: To be on vacation is to go away.
Addendum: You might also enjoy this follow-up to the staycations post.
Photos: Ellen Perlman
1. "Staycation" - You still have a view of the bills you need to pay
2. "Vacation" - What's in the view? Do you see any bills?
When faced with the choice of a "staycation" or just going in to work, I go to work. At least there the coffee is free, and the maid service takes out the trash.
Posted by: Chris Vaughan | August 03, 2009 at 09:36 AM
Chris,
I love it. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 03, 2009 at 10:31 AM
You're singing my song here :)
Even an overnight trip a few hours from home beats the whole let's-stay-home-and-pretend-we're-on-vacation thing. I don't even like to use the "stay" word...
Posted by: Dominique | August 03, 2009 at 01:12 PM
Dominique,
Agreed. A few months ago, I stayed in a hotel in downtown Washington, D.C., for a night - my home town. My company had an extra room for a guest who didn't show and didn't want to waste it.
I packed a bag and invited the S.O. He couldn't make it due to a commitment he couldn't get out of.
I had a glorious evening out of the house, luxuriating at a $300+ a night hotel. And even though I had to sit through a work dinner and leave early in the a.m. for another work day, those few hours were delightful.
Staying home is staying home. There's no "cation" about it...
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 03, 2009 at 01:22 PM
Hey, Ellen,
Thanks for the laughs. And yes, I've seen many an embroidered peasant blouse bought up by tourists.... as well as weird alcoholic beverages. I somehow managed to keep myself from buying that bubbly pineapple wine in Maui. I'm proud.
But I think that in the broader sense, "staycation" (OK...it's a lame term some publicist came up with) means staying at a hotel in your town, where yes, the maid will make up the bed for you and put chocolates on your pillow at night.
Linda
Posted by: Linda Tagliaferro | August 03, 2009 at 02:35 PM
Ellen, this is great. One thing that makes something a vacation, not a staycation, for me: It involves room service (as opposed, say, to pizza delivery).
Posted by: Edie | August 03, 2009 at 02:47 PM
Linda,
Aha. Perhaps this is where the difficulty comes in - the definition of a "staycation." A friend of mine recently talked about "taking a staycation" and he was referring to staying at home.
Edie,
I love that distinction - room service vs. pizza delivery. Subtle! But tells the story.
Posted by: Ellen | August 03, 2009 at 03:49 PM
Amen! All of this is so, so true. I hate the idea of taking a week off and staying home. I won't do it. That's not a vacation to me. It's a very long, boring weekend.
Posted by: Gray | August 03, 2009 at 06:00 PM
Gray,
If they didn't count as vacation days, I'd love having days at home to accomplish the things I never get done (as if they'll then get done...)
But I won't feel rested and refreshed at the end of it. And it most certainly won't be an adventure. So, like you, I hate the idea of doing it. And never have.
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 03, 2009 at 09:00 PM
Great post, Ellen - and SO true!! I'm going to put a link on my facebook page!
Posted by: Gayle | August 03, 2009 at 09:41 PM
Gayle,
Thanks. Both for the nice comment and the link. That's great.
E
Posted by: Ellen | August 03, 2009 at 09:55 PM
You hit the nail on the head, Ellen. Who in their right mind would call staying at home anything other than work as usual? Oh, yeah, the government who wants us to feel better about not having the money to go anywhere.
May the idea of staycation go into the drawer with the pet rock.
Rachel
Posted by: Rachel Dickinson | August 03, 2009 at 11:27 PM
#25 on my bucket list is to tour my hometown as if I were a tourist--a staycation. But I have to admit, nothing makes me happier than planning and packing for a trip far, far away from my daily life! I loved the list! I most confess I am so a #10 on vacation! Happy Travels, Lisa
Posted by: Lisa B. | August 04, 2009 at 12:37 AM
Rachel,
I didn't buy a pet rock (tho I wished I'd thought of the idea!) and I won't "go" on a staycation.
Lisa,
If you tour your home town, at least stay in a hotel or B and B and get away from home. Then it will feel like a vacation.
(We're ALL a #10 on vacation at some point. lol)
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 04, 2009 at 09:26 AM
Absolutely adorable! Amanda's aunt rocks.
Posted by: Kathy | August 04, 2009 at 10:37 AM
Kathy,
You're a hoot! Looking forward to our next get-together.
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 04, 2009 at 10:58 AM
i despise the word stayvacation. You aren't going anywhere! You're home! call it like it is! I'm glad you share my rage.
Posted by: Matt | August 04, 2009 at 03:34 PM
Matt,
The worst is, people have started getting used to the word. Accepting it even. As my niece would say..nnoooooo!!!!
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 04, 2009 at 04:56 PM
Since my away vacations are usually jam-packed seeing/doing as much as I can in the place I'm visiting (who knows if I'll ever get back for a second visit), I generally don't find them relaxing. Exciting, exhilerating, eye-opening, amazing etc. - yes, relaxing - no.
I love to take a week off and stay home and just putter around the house and do things at my own pace. After a week of that, I'm relaxed.
Posted by: sdoca | August 05, 2009 at 06:39 PM
sdoca,
Sounds like you know what you like. And taking a week off to stay home suits you. All I ask is that you don't call it a staycation!
It's a week off from work to relax and putter around the house. ;-)
Like I said, nothing wrong with that.
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 05, 2009 at 09:39 PM
I dislike the word "staycation," not just because it sounds so utterly stupid but because it's such a vague term that it doesn't communicate anything. It can refer to a wide range of activities, from the "stay home and watch TV" or "stay home and take day trips" you're skewering here, to "stay in a hotel in your home town," all the way to a genuine vacation somewhere a few hours away by car, bus, train, or bicycle.
That said, if you're fortunate enough in these hard economic times to have a choice of vacations beyond a "staycation" (however you define it), that's great. But a lot of people don't have that choice. So they should not be made to feel bad about taking a break from their frustrating job hunt to enjoy a real vacation exploring their home towns, even if they end each day in their own unmade beds.
For that matter, even people who are gainfully employed (for the moment at least) could have a perfectly great time enjoying an inexpensive vacation based on day trips from home. Perhaps for you a vacation requires spending money on a hotel, and that's entirely fine. But for others, all it may take is to proclaim "I'm on vacation!" before spending the day doing just what a tourist would do in their home town. It's the mind that matters. If you buy a guidebook and research your day trips from home as if they were excursions to the other side of the world, you can have a fantastic vacation without breaking the bank (and without using the dreaded "s-word").
I'll certainly agree with your assertion that "staycation" is not a satisfactory substitute for actually going somewhere different from home. But there are times when it's the right thing to do. Your post is still very funny.
Posted by: Ted | August 05, 2009 at 11:08 PM
Thanks Ted for your nice comment at the end.
On staying home for vacation, it's up to individuals what feels right. For me, if I'm not away, it doesn't completely feel like a vacation. For others it may. We all have to do what we have to do based on our desires and bank accounts.
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 06, 2009 at 07:56 AM
Fun post!
I am not sure I agree though, just on a pedantic definition standpoint.
I totally agree with you that going away somewhere beats staying at home any day. Especially, if you don't get much holiday per year (something that applies to nearly every American adult).
But I would define "vacation" as time off work or school. (Though where I come from we are more likely to refer to it as "holidays" or in an office context, "annual leave"). When I was a child I didn't go away every time I had vacation from school but I certainly knew the difference between my holidays (even ones at home) and going to school.
And when I tell people at work that I have a holiday/vacation coming up, their first question usually is: Are you going away somewhere? It's not a given that I have to go away in order for it to be a vacation.
But definitely agreed that travel is great and "staycation" is a silly word. You don't need a separate word for staying at home - it's just a different way of spending your vacation.
Posted by: Caitlin | August 07, 2009 at 12:17 AM
Great article Ellen! In my mind 'staycation' is somehow much too easily confused with 'stagnation'. To enjoy a 'vacation' - I need to get away - not far necessarily, but definitely away!!
Posted by: RM | August 07, 2009 at 01:08 AM
Caitlin,
I agree with you in that when I was little, school vacations, or holidays, didn't mean going away. But as a working adult I have never taken off a full week to stay home. That's just me.
Three day weekend? Sure. If work wants to give me a free Monday off (or bank holiday as you might say) I'm content to putter around the house.
But as RM says, staycation is too easily confused with stagnation and I find that happens to me. Too many days at home and I get sluggish.
So I hoard those precious vacation days and figure out some way to get away.
Ellen
Posted by: Ellen | August 07, 2009 at 09:36 AM